Racism

Last saturday i went to my granny's house at Rio de Janeiro. When i was coming back home my parents decided to stop at Carrefour and buy some stuff. Unfortunately I was sleeping at the back seat of the car when my parents arived at carrefour. Some minutes later I woke up and realized that I was locked on the car. I tried to press the button that unlocks the door but instead of setting me free the car started to make loud noises, so I gave up. When I looked at the back window of my car I figured out that I was able to leave the car by removing the seats and going to the trunk. When I finaly got there and opened the trunk, that fuc**** alarm started to ring again. I left the car. But when opened my eyes there was a huge man from the security and he said i was trying to rob my parents car (but he didn't know who I was). I had just left the beach at Rio de Janeiro and I was realy black and dirty so I can figure out why he thought I was trying to rob my car.

I think that's all.
Bye.

Candle on fire!

Some years ago my mother come back home from the supermarket and ask me to help her with the bags, she had bought a 'beautiful' decorative candle wich for my surprise had a brand called Lumixx (yes! with double x ¬¬). She was enchanted with that and decided to put it on the dinning table as a 'beautiful decorative object'. When i saw that horrible thing on the living I tried to persuade her to put it on another place, so I said ''Mum, it's so important to stay here, why don't you put it in... your bathroom!" (so nobody would see that). She took the candle and put it in a small shelf in the bathoom. In the middle of the night i woke up suddenly because i thought that there was a light on, so I went of my bedroom and unfortunately I had a bad surprise, there was a (small) fire on the bathoom! It couldn't be worst, there was a towel on fire to! I called my father and he stopped that. After that, we could see that the candle was the responsible for the fire, it was destroyed as some other things that were in the shelf.. My mother sent a letter to the manufacturer saying everything that had happended. Until today she says that it only happended because I said bad thing about the candle.. take care about unknown brands!

Test For Women

As children are really honest, in fact too honest most of times, imagine you are with a group of friends and you took you kid to know them, but when one of our friends that is a little overweight comes to talk to your child, the first thing she asks to you her is "Excuse me miss, but are you pregnant?"
It would be extremelly embarrassing and your friend would be a little bit upset even though we all know that children don't exactly have a sense of right and wrong when it comes to beeing polite.

Test for Women

First situation: Imagine that you’re taking your son or daughter out and meet up your female boss on the street. You both are talking and, suddenly, your child interrupts you and says “Why do you have a moustache if you are a woman?”
So, what would you do next?

Second situation: If you’re walking with your kid and, in the middle of the street, she/he starts yelling and making prank, don’t be embarrassed. Instead, start doing the same thing of her/him. Your kid will probably stop and start acting like the adult, being embarrassed of you.



And well, actually, both stories happened!

Test for women and men

Test for women:

While the mother was taking a shower, her daughter got your makeup. The little girl started to use the makeup in your face, your arm, your belly, then on the walls and everything in the front. Making a wide mess in the house.

Test for men:

In the restaurant, father and daughter are having a funny dinner. Unluckily, the little girl decided to go to the toilet but she did not know go alone. So she implored for the dad goes with her. Unfortunately again, just the bathroom for women are adapted for her and men are not welcome there. At that time, he asked for the waitress if she can help him daughter.

Dog Test: Spread some toys around the house and make a high-pitched noise, as if it was a baby screaming. Your dog will probably destroy the toys, unless you keep it imprisoned. Dogs that stay much time in a room tend to get stressed. If they are also exposed to an annoying sound, they will, presumably, get miserable or make you feel as if you were in hell with all the jumping and barking. After the test, if you could keep the toys and your dog is still happy, then you are ready to have children without having to get rid of your pet.

Enjoy!

This situation can happens with both men or women:

You're doing some chores or reading the newspaper when your child comes over you and ask you where children come from. You start to invent lots and lots of histories and get completely embarrassed but suddenly you remember that old history about the stork and how it gives parents the baby that your parents told you when you were a child and you asked them the same question. When you realize that your child believed this umbelievable history as you when were at the same age of he/she you get really satisfied and not embarrassed anymore.

Kisses :D

Corporal Punishment- Interview

Presenter: Good morning Niterói. Today we're going to talk about coporal punishment and we have some calls and a phychologist to answer the questions. Let's go to the first call.

First call: Hi, my name is Kim. I'm calling from Rio de Janeiro to say that I'm completely against with corporal punishment, so I would like to know what are the consequences when the child grow up?

Phychologist - Janine: Well, it's always depends, but in general the hildwill probably be a violent person and make the same mistakes of her/him parents with her/him sons.

Presenter: OK, good one! So let's go to thenext one.

Second call: Good morning, my name is Sam. I heard the last interview and I totally disagree. I think the corporal punishment is always the best way to make my son respect me.

Phychologist - Janine: Well, the best way can't be this one. We have another ways to have the respect, as the communication.

Presenter: OK guys. That's enough for today! We'll go to listen a great music now. See you later!(The music begins)

Tests!

Grocery Store Test: Go to the supermarket and try to make a map of that, but you can't pass on the cookie or candy section because it will mean that you're in trouble with your kids as they always want that things! Remember to ''trace your route'' in the supermarket passing on the cleaning and the''green'' section (it doesn't work if your kid is like the chicória's boy) because kids in general don't like that part of the supermarket! Good luck!

Test for Men: Ask your wife to stay all the day out of the house, she need to go out before the kids wake up as fathers usually do. Prepare a small manual with some things that she will say when come back home like ''where's my dinner?; It's all a mess!, why kids are running around the bedroom?''. Make sure your wife had left home (because she cant' help you) and than try to make everything se always do at home with your ''quiet'' children during all the day. Now imagine at 8pm, when your kids will be hungry, the house will be a big mess and suddenly your wife will come back home complaining a lot and sayins that things written on the manual! You will know how mothers are pacient! It's good to think how difficult is to take care of your children and your husband complaining!!

You've got it!!

Wow, guys!! Your tests rocked so far!

I wish I had read them before having kids!! LOL
Kidding!

I want to suggest a test for both men and women!

Set up the alarm of your mobile for each 50min, select a ringtone that resembles or is exactly a baby crying and turn up the volume to MAX. Do it for three nights in a row and still keep your sense of humour UP!!
If it's not enough, get dressed to go to work and ask your spouse to surprise you spilling spoiled milk on your favourite shirt...

Women, there is one more for you!! Get dressed with the loosest clothes you have, dress your hair with a very simple pony tail and wear no make up. When a co-worker asks you if you have put on some weight or "years"... Chill out!

Hope you laugh a little!

All the best,
Janine

Test for woman

Sunday morning you wake up early to take a walk in the park with your baby. And everywhere you walk someone asks you about the baby; what's his/her name, how old is he/she, and other annoying questions!

You are in a friend's party and you don't have anyone to look after your kids so you take them with you. They've brought a soccer ball and you didn't know it. All of a sudden you hear a glass-breaking noise. Everybody runs to see what it was. You hope that it hasn't been your kids' fault, but unfortunately, it has been the older one who did it. Your kids run to hug you and you cant pretend that you've never seen them before. Everyone is mad at you and you have to leave... OMG!

haha! The second one really happened with my aunt! =]

see you...

Test For Men: stay all the the day at the garden running , playing football or cycling until you get very tired. Now , go home , take a shower and try to watch tv while a very loud music is playing, and after you can go sleep, but you have to wake up every 2 hours and walk a little around the house before come back to the bed.